Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds
by TheCatchingJay
Summary: Katniss and Peeta made a mistake. Ending up in a baby. Soon after the birth of their daughter, Katniss can't handle the thoughts of bringing a child into a cruel world that doesn't exist. She runs away to District 7 and seeks the comfort of Johanna. 14 months later, Katniss comes back to District 12 and tries to rebuild her life. Inspired by Jlala's fanfic "All I Know".
1. Chapter 1

**Howdy hey. I'm finally publishing my first story! Wooooo!**

**In my phone (iPod b/c it's basically a phone), I have 57 notes. 55 which are fanfiction WiP's. Oops. I cannot stay on one project. Anyways, this story was inspired by "****_All I Know_****" by the one and only Jlala. Yes, I love all of her beautifully written stories. I thought the story was absolutely perfect (as are all of her stories) and I wanted to not copy it, but make a "what-if" type thingy-ma-bob. In this, Katniss and Peeta's daughter is 14 months, unlike Jlala's where the daughter is a 4-year-old. I wondered and thought about what would happen if Katniss didn't wait that long. If she came to her senses without a main character death.**

**The title for this story was inspired by ****_Mayday Parade_****'s song "****_You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds_****". Phew, that was a shit ton to write; but not actually b/c copy and paste. #sorrynotsorry. It's a beautiful song and I highly recommend it. And all their songs. JUST GO CHECK THEM OUT! :) For it to make sense with this story, you have to look at the song in Peeta's POV. I know this is in Katniss' POV but w/e. ;) I'm a dare devil. But not actually. Kinda. But kinda not.**

**OK I'M GOING TO STOP RAMBLING MY NON-SENSE. ONWARD WITH THE SHOW! Or in this case, story.**

**May I present to you, "****_Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds_****".**

**Also, a disclaimer: I AIN'T OWN ****_THE HUNGER GAMES _****OR ****_MAYDAY PARADE_****'s song OR Jlalas fanfiction. Kay?**

* * *

****My head leans against the window of the train, eyes fluttering with exhaustion. I'm going home. _Home_, home. Not Johanna Mason's house that I've been staying at for the past 14 months.

Back to Haymitch, Peeta and my daughter.

Yes, you heard correctly, I, Katniss Everdeen, the person who once swore that she would never have children, has a child. She was an accident, but an accident that I came to love over the past year. Peeta was happy. No, happy is an understatement. More like, ecstatic. I put on a smile for him during the pregnancy, but on the inside, I was terribly depressed. I didn't want to bring a child into a world that was unstable no matter how many times Peeta or Haymitch told me the government changed.

My mother stayed in District 12 for one day to just be there to deliver my daughter. The next day, she was off on a train back to her surrogate grandchild and daughter. Annie Odair and her son Finnick Odair Jr. She just abandoned me, her real daughter and her own blood-related grandchild. I was furious, at the least. Little did I know, was that I would become her just two weeks later.

* * *

_It was in the middle of the night. Peeta was sleeping peacefully next to me, our innocent little baby at the end of the bed in her cradle that Greasy Sae had generously gave us. I slid out quietly and efficiently, but not before I placed a gentle kiss upon Peeta's lips and another one on the baby's forehead. I creeped out into the night and shared one last look at the house that was filled with sad and happy memories, containing my love and joy._

_I hopped onto a train to the only place I could think of. A place with one person I could trust to keep my secret that I left behind._

_Johanna greeted me with a wild glint in her wide-set brown eyes and her hand raised with a axe. I cried out before she could strike me._

_"What the hell are you doing here? Why aren't you in Twelve snuggling with Lover Boy?" She asked, furious that I woke her up from sleep. "I had to leave. So make space for a roommate." I said lowly not looking to explain about my situation. She didn't dare say anything just simply raised a brown brow and opened the door wider._

_Thus started the living session with Johanna. Haymitch and Peeta had found out where I was, in result of sending me letters of begging me to come back home. I got pictures of our baby but after a while, the letters and pictures stopped altogether. I guess they realized it was hopeless, I was never going to come back home. That didn't stop me from thinking about them, though. I wondered how Peeta was looking after a newborn while dealing with his episodes. If Haymitch was suffering from sobriety that he forced himself into when he found out I was with child. Even those god damn geese of his._

_I suffered from nightmares of the mutts from my first Games tearing apart my baby. Peeta being one of those on the long list of people Snow poisoned. Johanna would wake me from them and tried to comfort me, but it wasn't the same. I wanted to be wrapped in those warm and strong arms of Peeta._

* * *

And that is how I found myself here, on a bumpy and long ride back to my home district. My nerves only seem to increase the closer we get. When the train finally stops I slowly stand up and walk over to the door that swooshes open. The second my foot touches the ground all of the memories slam right back into my chest with full force. Even from here, I can see the streets of town bustling busily as they go on with their day. Most of them getting ready to leave work as the afternoon air turns dark with every hour. I'm so preoccupied with my own thoughts I hardly hear the familiar, gruff voice call out my name.

"Katniss?" I wheel around and my eyes widen to the size of his. Haymitch's mouth hangs wide open in shock. "Haymitch," I gasp out. I stumble forward until I reach his arms. He stiffens at the contact but softens and hugs me back lightly. He pulls away quickly and grabs my bag off the ground.

"C'mon," Haymitch says. "Lets walk and talk. I'm sure you have stories and questions."

* * *

**AND CUTTTT!**

**So, love it? Hate it? Lemme know.**

**I know, I know, it was short. But I'm on a tight schedule. Next chapter will be longer, promise.**

**Until next time lover boys and lover girls, **

**TCJ.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I told you it would be quick, now didn't I? Now next for whats to come, this probably seems a little over dramatic, but thank you so, so, so, so much for everyone who has favorited, reviewed and followed ****_WTKYHITC_****!**

**In this chapter, we meet Baby Mellark! Ahhh! So exciting! I think I'm more excited then you guys. I'm a little concerned about the name I chose, I hope everyone likes it. I don't have much to say today, which is surprising, right?**

**Thank you to my dear, best friend, Kaitlynn, who helped me choose the name and tried (and failed) to assure me that everyone will like the name I chose. She supports my crazy, insane and over all obsessed addiction to ****_The Hunger Games _****and fanfiction writing. I love you, sissypoo! This chapter is dedicated to her.**

**Disclaimer: IF I OWNED ****_THE HUNGER GAMES _****THAT WOULD MEAN I WOULD HAVE A LIFE AND FRIENDS. SHMUR.**

**Trois, deux, un, action!**

* * *

Nothing has had a serious change since I left. A few new stores, the nearly empty stores that they once were are rushing with business. No one seems to notice us walking. Wonder what they'll think when they see I'm back. _Oh, there she is, the Mockingjay who abandoned own baby. _

I know Haymitch is itching to just snap at me; asking why I didn't come back, what took me so long. So far, he's kept his mouth shut, in a firm line. Either because he's too damn mad or we're in the middle of town. Probably the latter. My heart speeds up so much I swear it skips beats as I see the building coming into view.

The bakery.

This must be Haymitch's objective. When I open my mouth to say something, it's like he senses it and shushes me. "Must be pretty hungry after such a long ride, huh?" Haymitch bites, his tension rolling off of him. I purse my lips and keep my eyes trained on the ground. The bell above the door twinkles in a high chirpy ring as we walk through it. My eyes dance across the bakery indulging in its sight, seeing if anything has changed. As I'm scanning the counter near the front, my eyes catch on a ball of dark hair crashing itself into Haymitch's legs.

"Aymis, Aymis, Aymis," the young child chirps. Haymitch's back cracks as he bends down to lift the kid up. It wraps its arms around his neck and lays its head on his shoulder. She peers at me with her big eyes at me.

Blue; so blue.

"Hey there, sweetheart," he says so softly I hardly recognize the man who was drunk almost all the time with a sick sense of humor and cold voice who mentored me for the Hunger Games.

"Iris? Iris where are you?" My breath hitches as _his _voice comes into hearing. The little girl perks up at the sound of his voice and the pieces start to become together. The thump of his prosthetic sounds he's near. My eyes flicker up to his face. The same blue eyes that were clouded with worry a second ago clear up, the bags under his eyes look like bruises and a light layer of stubble lies upon his strong jaw. His lips open slightly in a silent gasp as he sees me standing to the side.

Peeta grabs—Iris, I assume—from Haymitch and I watch as she immediately welcomes his grasp. "Katniss," Peeta starts. "This is Iris, Iris Hope Mellark. Iris, this is you're . . ." He trails off, unsure what to call me to her. "Mommy," I cut in. His blue eyes narrow slightly before nodding curtly. "Yes, you're mommy." He says it almost coldly. And at first I'm offended but slowly understand, I've been missing for over a year, with no contact to Iris, I'm basically nothing to her.

"Can you watch her while I lock up and get my stuff?" Peeta asks Haymitch lowly. Haymitch nods and takes a smiling Iris into his arms. Peeta disappears for a few minutes before coming back to the front, jiggling keys in his hand that makes Iris squeal and reach for them. He hands them to her without objecting and shrugs his own jacket on and forcing Iris' chubby arms into hers. A bag hangs off one of his broad shoulders and he holds Iris almost possessively. "Ready to go, baby bird?" Peeta kisses Iris' cheek. He turns to me with a blond brow raised.

"I assume you're coming with us?" Peeta asks. I nod slightly and he walks out with Iris while Haymitch walks in the back with me.

"You have a lot of explainin' to do," Haymitch mumbles quietly. I sigh. I knew this was coming. As the Victors Village comes into view he walks quickly to the door that Peeta walked through moments ago. I follow behind them like a lost puppy, unsure of what to do. As I kick the dirt off my boots, I hear shuffling in the kitchen. I sit on the couch, looking at the photos covering the walls. Many of them, basically all of them, are of Iris in various stages of ages. I also notice that the pictures that were on the walls and fire mantle before I left are still there.

Peeta clears his throat behind me making me jump in surprise. "Seeing what you missed?" The tone of his voice makes my heart clench and make face furrow into a scowl.

"What am I supposed to say, Peeta?" I ask finally. "I don't know, Katniss. Maybe, '_I'm sorry for making you do all the work of raising a baby and running away like a selfish coward?'_"

The both of us are glaring at each other, the tension in the room thick. Suddenly, a wail interrupts our glare death showdown. Peeta tears his eyes away from mine and they stare intently at the stairs. I start to get up from the couch to see what's wrong with Iris and cut him off before he has time to move.

"I'll go check on her," I murmur. "No!" Peeta snaps before his eyes turn apologetic and he whispers a quick "Sorry" and runs from the room. He returns not moments later as Haymitch asks, "She okay?" Peeta nods, blond curls flopping down into his eyes, "just wanted another story." Haymitch chuckles, "Sounds like her." Peeta laughs shortly.

Peeta turns to me and motions towards the stairs. "You can take the bedroom or a spare. I'll take the couch." I nod gratefully. "Thank you." He smiles slightly. I climb the stairs and hear Peeta leading Haymitch out. Before heading to bed, I find the door that is covered in childish photos and open it to find Iris sleeping peacefully on her stomach in a deep wood crib. Her eyelids flutter in the land of dreams, concealing those blue eyes identical to her fathers'. I drop a kiss onto her tiny head and she sighs in her sleep.

I exit quietly and head to the bedroom. True to his words, the room hasn't changed a bit. In the dresser, extra clothes of mine lie there. I change into a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt before snuggling deep into the dark blue blankets and hugging a pillow of Peeta's. As I drift off into sleep, I can form one thought.

_This is going to be one long road to back where we were._

* * *

**SOOOO . . . .**

**Tell me. Yay or nay?**

**By the way, it's nearly midnight and I have to get up early tomorrow and I'm half asleep but I know I won't sleep SO I don't have a lot to say.**

**You can find me on Tumblr ****_ .com _****.**

**Love you all, my little ducks,**

**TCJ.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Before you all get your guns and try to shoot me, I have a legitimate excuse. I know, I know, "I'll update soon" doesn't really qualify for like two months, does it?**

**Lately, it's been really stressful. I'm not going to go into detail but to put it shortly, my graduation is next week so my school has been all frantic with that and my health has been all fucked up lately. OK guys?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_The Hunger Games _****or ****_Mayday Parade_****'s********song****_._**

* * *

I wake up gasping for air as the dream, nightmare, actually, replays on a loop in my head. I was back in the first arena, standing on top of the Cornucopia. My arrow poised at my little Iris, who was standing at the lip of it. A sneer was holding my face and I shot the arrow over and over and _over _again, pushing her into the Mutt pit where Peeta was, crippled and deformed. Their screams repeated over and over in my head all night.

My hair sticks to my neck in snarls from sweat. I roll out of bed and quickly hop into the shower to refresh myself. Everything is the same. Just like everything else in the house. That is, except for Peeta. But as I think of it, he too, has changed.

After dressing, I follow the sound of giggles down to the kitchen. Peeta is standing behind Iris as she mixes something in a bowl with her small hands. I can see his lips moving as his chin rests atop of her little head. Whatever he's saying is what is making her laugh.

I clear my throat and Peeta's head snaps up. "Good morning, Katniss," he smiles, eyes trained on Iris.

"What are you guys doing?" I ask. Iris' head snaps up and lifts her hands in the air, effectively spattering Peeta with the mixture. He sputters but smiles good-naturally at her. "'Fest, 'fest," she squeals. I look to Peeta for confirmation. "Breakfast," he says. I nod and sit down at the table across from them. "What are we having?" "French toast," Peeta replies. "It's her favorite."

Iris squeals again and Peeta laughs. "Yes, I know. You love it."

Watching them interact with such ease makes my heart clench. The love she has for him and how much she admires her father is un-doubtable and then I walk into the picture where she has no clue that I am supposed to be.

Peeta's words replay in my head. _Seeing what you missed all this time? _I am, and it fills me with so much guilt.

A hand on my shoulder jolts me out of these depressing thoughts and I look up into Peeta's clouded-with-worry eyes. "Breakfast is ready," is all he says but I notice his eyes on me throughout the meal. Iris makes a mess with her food, smashing it with her fists on the platter connected to her chair. Only a third of it gets into her mouth. She babbles non-sense that makes only sense to herself; which Peeta nods at her words and that seems to satisfy her. As Peeta wipes her face and hands down with a warm washcloth, he begins to talk to me.

"Once I'm done cleaning up this little monster," he pauses to tickle Iris's side with a finger, rewarded with a laugh. "If you can so kindly take her upstairs to get changed while I shower, we can begin the day more efficiently." I nod and feel a hint of a smile tugging at my lips as he includes me with their day. Peeta tosses the dirty rag into the sink behind him without looking, picks up Iris and brings her over to me.

"Mommy is going to help you get ready while I shower, ok?" he tweaks her nose with his thumb, presses a kiss to her forehead before handing her over to my arms. "Her room is across from our-mine." He quickly corrects himself before running up the stairs.

I glance down at Iris who is patiently waiting in my arms, eyes trained on my face. "Let's go then." I murmur to her. As I walk up the stairs, her arms wound around my neck and her body lessens its stiffness it held when Peeta first passed her to me. I follow Peeta's instructions and open the door to the bedroom across from his. The door holds many childish paintings, Iris's. Her room is like a sunset, the walls painted soft oranges and baby yellows, warm pinks; trimmed with a pure white. Her crib contains a few plush toys, a worn blanket and a pillow. A dresser sits on the opposite side of the wall the crib is on. A painting is hanging above her bed, an image of the lake in the summer. I recognize the painting done by only Peeta's hands. I set Iris down on the ground and she flops down onto a cushion on the floor. I pull out outfits and hold them up for her judgement and she shakes her head every time. I huff at her in annoyance and she scowls at me.

I hear his chuckle before I see him. "Stubborn, isn't she? I think she gets it from you." Peeta holds his hands up in defense when I roll my eyes at him. "I don't know, you can be pretty demanding when you want to be, Peeta." Iris runs to Peeta when she notices him standing there.

When I pick out a pair of small cargo pants and a short-sleeved shirt and hold it up for approval, she nods her head. I help her change as Peeta grabs an extra outfit and the bag he had from yesterday from her closet.

"So what's the schedule?" I ask Peeta as we wait for Iris as she scrambles in the kitchen.

"I either take her to the bakery with me for the day or drop her off at Haymitch's, Delly and Thom's or Sae's place and then when I close up and she's not there with me, I pick her up from wherever she is. Normally it's at Haymitch's." He informs me. Iris returns with a soft cream colored blanket clutched tightly in her hands. Peeta lifts her into his arms. With the blanket still in her hand, she shoves her thumb into her mouth and lays her head on Peeta's shoulder.

"Where is she going today?" I ask as we walk out the front door, pausing as Peeta locks it. "Haymitch's." Iris perks up at his name and grins.

Peeta bangs on the door, walks into Haymitch's house as he gets no response and yells, "Haymitch! Are ya alive in here?"

Haymitch grumbles as he walks out of his kitchen, eyes narrowed at Peeta. "There is no goddamn reason to yell before noon." Peeta grins. "Oh yes, I forgot, your definition of 'early' is two in the afternoon." He teases Haymitch who glares at him. "Watch it, boy." Peeta only laughs harder, eyes squeezed shut. Even I let my mouth curl up into a grin. When our laughter dies down, Iris squirms in Peeta's arms and he lets her down. She runs over to Haymitch, hugs his legs before talking to him.

"Geese, geese," Haymitch chuckles and pats her head. "They're out back." Iris's blue eyes brighten and she runs to I guess where the geese are on her chubby legs. Peeta puts the bag down at the coat hanger.

As he and Haymitch talk, I scan his house, in fear of anything hurting Iris. As if reading my mind, Haymitch scoffs behind me, "Sweetheart, there ain't a damned thing in this house that will hurt lil' Sweetheart." He pauses. "Boy made sure of it after ya left. And even before then, I stopped drinking."

I turn to the door and I hear Peeta thank Haymitch again. "Goddamn, stop saying thank you, will ya? You thank me every time, it's nothing, and I tell you every time. Besides, I enjoy having a little company over here."

When we step outside, I stop him before he can head to work. "What am I supposed to do?" I ask. Peeta shrugs. "Go hunting, I guess. I have help in the bakery."

Taking his advice, I sprint through town and where the Seam used to be and slide on my belly under the fence. As I take a step into the trees, a gust of memories of Gale and I come crashing back and leaves me uncomfortable. After getting my bow and sheath, I fall back into my regular routine, the only sound of mockingjay's chirping to each other. I puncture animal after animal and find it calming my nerves that were high. My feet crunch silently on the floor of the forest, body weaving skillfully through the trees that are my second home.

I think about visiting the lake, but quickly decide against it as my body is mentally and physically tired from all the fighting and tension going on in the house.

I get lost of the time and when I go to check the sky, I find it very dark. I load my game into my bag leaving the forest quickly. The town is empty; everyone is probably at their home where I should be at mine.

When I enter the house, it's quiet. Peeta and Iris must already be in bed. I throw my game bag into the fridge then walk into the living room. Just as I sit down on the couch, the light beside the armchair flickers to life. I gasp meeting Peeta's eyes that are still the same bright blue they are in the sun. They fold into thin slits, glowering at me.

"Almost thought you left again," Peeta snarls. My arms fold over my chest my reply rising in my throat, "well too bad for you then, because I'm here right now."

"Yes, you are. But the question is; how long are you going to stay for?"

* * *

Peace, Little Ducks.

-TCJ.


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